also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
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Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
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You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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