hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
sarcasm needs its own font
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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