watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
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I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
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Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
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