i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
How does it feel to date your dad?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
