Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just saw a hot homeless man
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
