how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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