Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
