He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
