my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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