A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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