I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
