More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
My life is pants optional.
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