Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
