It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
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I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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