The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
