i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
