Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
