when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
