im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
