so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Randomize
