Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
