I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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