he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
