No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
