Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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