Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
we should paint friendship bongs
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
