Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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