even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Farmville is her only friend.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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