Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize