we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
