my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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