Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
