dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
