if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
