yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
