I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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