It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize