How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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