2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
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After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
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I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize