I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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