so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
