Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
