I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
