My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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