so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
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