i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
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Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
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I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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