I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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