She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
