Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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