your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize