i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
