so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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