just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
