call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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