ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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