dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
