No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
