I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
