some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
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