Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize