I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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