he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
