i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
